Expecting More From Teachers

 I was studying in very good school. Teachers were very good to students.

We used to get lot of academic projects which were to be completed in
fixed time. Mostly we used to take help of internet to complete projects.

But we had many friends whose parents used to help them a lot in finishing
those projects. Some time I will feel dejected thinking I wish parents
could help us in doing so. But my parents used to encourage us to be
independent while doing those projects. That habit which my parents
inculcated in me has come long way with me. I find I remain happy by doing
everything in my life by myself. I have no expectations from others. I
Think that is a simple formula to remain happy in life.

Now I have grown old, same habit I try to inculcate in my students and my
own children.

Moral of story is friends that I have seen many student in my life time re
 who are afraid of examination result.They are those studens who expect more
from examiner teachers rather than from themselves.

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

Asha Bua

 

We have joint family.    We have helper Asha buaji in our house.She is an elderly lady and walk with little limb.But that does not slow her down in helping activity.Actually Asha bua is present everywhere.

There are nine kids in our house.Asha bua knows grades of every kid in our house..She keeps track of classes of every kid at home.She keeps instructing cook at home to hurry up with food so that no body get late for office or school.

I don’t remember a time when I came home and  and always saw Asha bua doing some thing or other.in and never  saw  bua sitting idle. She was always full of energy. She is a shoulder to cry on. A friendly ear to listen to kids emotional problems. She is a gentle reminder to kids when they make a mistake or neglect their studies. She see to it that elders are  never without coffee, despite the occasional absence of  raw coffee in our house.She is excellent in managing things.

Now I am away from home.I remember all those motherly traits of Asha bua. When I think of her, her limp is not the first thing that comes to mind. Her wrinkles seem important part of her beauty. All I remember is her heart and the immense love she had for all of us. All I remember is her radiant smile when we called out"Asha Bua"

Moral of story is friends People’s actions make them beautiful. And yes,my  Asha bua is supremely beautiful 

Sukarma Thareja

Benumbed People-Help

 

    My former neighbour was stressed over a religious function at her place and the lack of space required for the same. She was worried how to avoid overcrowding. We had shifted to the complex very recently but we could guess her problem was genuine . We decided to help her.

We asked her to use our living room and dining space for her guests. The extra number of guest could come to our home. She was extremely thankful and told us that it wouldn’t be too much of an issue . Come, pray, wait a bit for the prasad (sacred offerings) and then move to the garden area for lunch. Everything seemed manageable.

Then arrived the function day.

The  guests soon started swelling and all of them were directed to our place. Situation wasn’t very good but we didn’t mind. Soon, people started going to our bedroom to relax… as per our neighbour’s directions! There were people in our kitchen, living room, bedroom, passage… everywhere. And no one seemed to be in a hurry to leave.

Mum and I didn’t have place to sit in our own home!!

No one was remotely interested in sitting for the actual puja (prayer). Our neighbour’s home was nearly empty.   Food buffet was thrown open after puja finished, people started heaping their plates and coming to our place for comfortable eating. It wouldn’t have been an issue if they maintained decorum. But the way they dropped food and spilled water, without a care for our home, was unacceptable. Some made their kids sit on our bed to eat!

Amidst all this , our neighbour was breezing in and out of our home without a hint of concern over the misuse of our humble efforts of help. Since the occasion was a holy one and the decision to help out was ours, we quietly waited for the day to get over. Saying anything to the guests would diminish the beauty of the occasion and leave a bad impression about the arrangements. This might hurt our neighbour and we decided to allow our help to be flexible.

The guests finally left. We took prasad and finally closed the door . There were stains on the walls and sheets. The floor was dirty, used plates and glasses were everywhere. Our neighbor made no mention of providing cleaning assistance. I made mum rest while I got down to tackling the mess. When our neighbor came to collect any unused cold drinks lying in our fridge, she turned a blind eye to the dirty zone that was being transformed into a home again. While leaving she did say thanks to my mother with an added comment.

“People were complaining about the heat but I apologised for the lack of AC here.”

When she left, all the grief over the abuse of help and  just melted away and I started laughing! Mum soon joined in. The lady’s parting remark had given a comical spin to the disaster of an experience.

Moral of Story-There’s no end to some people’s insensitivity .They are benumbed when given help.

Sukarma Thareja

Life is Above Categories

 

 

Sarla was my research Scholar.She was very sincere student.After working for two years for her Ph.D programe she got married.

One day  after our discussions about thesis problem results Sarla asked me "madam I am confused about what is essential in life that is, money,love or family support"?

I said "in life you need  all three dear Sarla :money,love and good family support.Life is not that simple as one think.Please do not consider life as box full of essential materialistic things.Life is much above categories.Life never says that I am full of joys.Nor does it say I am not full of sorrows..In life some time joy ad sorrow co exist but still it is much away from both joys and sorrows."

I further said"Sarla please imagine astronauts, some time they can not experience time.This unique example I am giving you dear student to let you realize that life can give one experience like this.Some experience of life give one numbness also."

I also further said"Sarla life is a personal experience,which has billion flavors.Every flavor has many  many colors and in each color there are tunnel like paths.These paths get connected with one another randomly."

Sarla noded her head and said"thanks madam for giving me flavour of life in such few sentences and short time."

I said"Sarla be brave and face life with honesty,trust ,walk on life rope tightly with open eyes with support of your dear ones .Sarla please also do remember best things in life are free example sleep,smile and laughter"

Sarla had big smile on her face,of course! bit confused, she looked bit more confidant than before.

Moral of story is friends whatever one gets in life it all depends on once brain cells that is how positively one faces happenings in life,How much each brain cell is capable of thinking differently.It also depends on how much courage and strength one has to go against crowd.Hence honesty,braveness and patience are traits essential in life

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

Gentle Parenting

 

Every one of us will agree that parenting is pleasant experience but some times it becomes challenging also. My experience with parenting has following salient points to high light. 

 

Where ever I go I encourage my children to do # experiential purchases(consumer get chance to buy experience)and less material purchases.  When ever I have some extra cash, I prefer to book a trip to travel  with my children or try some new hobby like  # photography and cooking.  Accordingly to my experience it give  children more satisfaction.

Other fact that I find fascinating about parenting is I encourage children to speak more than one language.  I also encourage children to  try at #  multitasking and problem-solving.

 I don't encourage children to be monolinguals. This is because bilinguals have to switch between different languages and cultures, which enhances my children cognitive flexibility and creativity. Learning a new language can also boost child's brain power and delay the onset of #  dementia.

 

 

The last tip that I want to share with you today is that smiling can make one feel happier, even if one is not.There fore I encourage my children to smile more and more. This is because smiling activates the muscles in your face that are linked to # positive emotions, and also releases endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine in child's brain.

 These chemicals can reduce stress, # lower blood pressure, and improve  child's mood.So next time if your child is feeling down,encourage your  child to smile and see what happens!

 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK 1986

India