Over Thinking

 have a sister she is principal of school, like many hard-working professionals, she enjoys developing herself and others. She also adores diving into new ideas and is energized by consuming information.

This ability to take in and process the world more deeply is particularly strong in the type of professionals who identify as what are—high achievers who think and feel everything more deeply.

As a sensitive person my sister has many strengths. Sensitive persons like my sister tend to be perceptive, observant, empathetic, and conscientious. Her sensitivity, combined with her drive to succeed, is what makes her a powerhouse performer.

On the other hand, because of  depth of processing, sensitive person often struggle to halt overthinking, or the tendency to think too much or too long about a subject. 

While  my sister is sensitive person is often applauded for the way she explores different angels of different problems.This over thinking pushes her into doubt and indecision.

 Worst of all sometimes her work bled into her personal time, and my sister has trouble “shutting off” her brain at night.

Here are several strategies I shared with my sister that can help anyone who is struggling with over thinking. 

Naming ones patterns of overthinking and then reframing them helps improve ones perspective so that one can see new possibilities and find solutions instead of hitting mental dead . 

How to reframe: Look for nuance in situations. When ones mind presents only two forks in the road, slow down, and ask if one might be missing some options.

One must reframe problems  Stop using extreme words like “always,” “never,” “all” and “every.” Treat events in isolation; just because something happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again.

Whenever one find oneself lost in unhelpful thoughts, one can use a pattern interruption technique to ease one self out of an overthinking spiral. 

Visualize one worries or fears as floating away in a balloon or drifting away down a stream. 

Friends reframing problems of over thinking and pattern recognition in over thinking are strong tools one can use to halt over thinking in day to day life. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

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Decisions-Time

 I was teaching in school. Some of my friends they will always say they do not have iota time. 

I agree that school teaching if one does sincerely is difficult job. 

But one has to plan things in life and take decisions at right time. Some of my friends will not take decisions at right time if it is personal or professional level decisions. I agree some decisions are really difficult. They can be bad also. But if one takes decisions fast one land up saving lot of time. 

But bad decisions teaches one life lessons and make one wise. So please don’t afraid of taking decisions. 

Moral of story is friends take decisions in life at right time and please dont be afraid of taking decisions. They are part of life process and teaches one great wisdom. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

 

Magic Doors of Home

 From childhood on wards I saw when ever my father went of home my mother will not close doors immediately.Sometime father will forget something and will come back after a while. He will pass smile to my mother oh! I forgot something.My mother will pass back smile to my father. 

Once I asked my mother why don’t you close door immediately if someone goes for work from home. My mother told mr”If our dear one going for work at far off place then we should not leave hope, we should wait for him to come back home till last moment of our life.These hopes and confidence remove distance between relationship.”

Moral of story is due to differences of opinion there are disagreements between near snd dear ones, but they are temporary issues of life. One should forgo them and always keep doors of hearts open. So that one could come in at our home without hesitations.

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

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Let us Make Life Simple

 In my Junior classes our teacher taught us to believe in simple living and high thinking. 

But an individual one can implement this philosophy but in today’s world, in my country this is not accepted by very many people. Some time they look down on people believing in simple living. Other way sometimes it becomes a social problem if one leads simple living

Simplest example is birthday celebration of children. Procedure followed in Indian community is cake is cut by birthday boy and every child invited for bday party bring present for child. Sometimes child- birthday boy is not able to appreciate the present given to him as one is not interested in specific present or sometimes the present given has intellectual level, much above birthday boy. 

This makes things little difficult. It is also customary no child goes to b’day party without carrying gift. 

Then b boy has to give return gift to all children who has come for bday party. 

All these rituals make life complicated for parents, specially who are working. 

Moral of story is please make life simple and remain worry free and enjoy life. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

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Hurt Foot-----

 I had my close friend Gita. She was very intelligent ,after she finished her M. Sc degree she appeared for CSIR examination to go for higher studies. Before CSIR result could come she was invited  by school to teach science to secondary classes. 

Afre few months her parents got her married into good family. She was happy in the in laws family. 

After few months her CSIR result was out and she came out with flying colors in exam. 

She discussed with her husband and in laws family that she wishes to go for higher studies for which CSIR will give her fellow ship. Her husband agreed to her request but in laws were not in favor of this decision. 

One obvious reason was after higher studies Gita may get job in outside city. For that in laws family were not ready for same. Another reason was financial, that is fellow ship amout for higher studies was less than salary which Gita was getting as school teacher. 

Gita understood petty thinking of her in laws family. She went for higher studies for which she was never appreciated by her in laws. 

Gita was fortunate after finishing her higher studies she immediately got lecturer position in college. That full filled her dream. Her in laws were also very happy for same. 

Moral of story is petty thinking is like hurt foot which will never let one move forward. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

Minimalistic Approach to Life

 My father was posted in France. I saw people in western countries accumulate things more than ones needs. 

This happens when big companies put big sale then people often buy things more than what they need. 

Companies put conditions like buy two get one free, then people often go for this option.

This is happening in India also. Now we indians are making our house museum instead of home. 

Since US has seen very big form of materialistic format therefore people in US are going toward keeping minimum things in house to lead happy life. 

 In our country accepting minimalism to lead life is must, as there is huge difference in pay of each individual.There is no even distribution of money and resources.

Some people have so many things that they can’t even have place to keep them in their home. There are others who  do not have enough clothes to cover their body. 

It is advisable to make ones house clutter free. 

Minimalistic approach to life has many advantages. 

Ones budget will be less. 

Less tension in home. 

It is easier to clean home. 

Financially one will be independent. 

Minimalistic approach to life is good for environment.

One will be away from pump show business.

One does not have to run after money. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

Why some people are so much graceful

 My maternal family came to India after partition. It was a difficult time for all persons who migrated to hindustan. 

My mother was unmarried at that time. My grandparents were in confused state. They were living in refugees camp. 

My mother tell us that they hardly used to get to eat. Some how my grandparents arranged my mothers marriage. My mothers inlaws family was big. Unfortunately they were also refugees. My mother had to work very hard day and night. She had to cook for twenty people. All these hard work made my mother very humble. 

Helping attitude was built in her nature. She was very graceful. She will help everyone. My mother used to tell us, that she has seen so many suffering during partition time that now she does not want to add any more pain to this world. 

Suffering of partition made my mother very hard working, helping and therefore graceful. 

Sukarma Thareja

Alumnus IITK

India

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