Sukarma musing: Dyamics of Married Life in Raising child

I am a science teacher in a government school. My friend Gita recently got married. After two years of marriage, she is #blessed with a daughter Minni.

Gita said” Madam my husband is a gentleman, but he refuses to change his style of living after marriage. Therefore I have made a lot of changes in my style of living. After Minni is born, I am a mom first and #wife later in sense I feel that as a mother my responsibility towards my child is sometimes more than my responsibility towards my #husband.”

I said,” Please be bold my friend, now you will face the hard truth of life after #marriage which is correlated with the hardships of married life after having a kid.”

I said “I do realize like most husbands, Gita your husband is comfortable in rolling around as he was before marriage. He is happy being a father but does not think that it is his #duty to help you in raising a child.”

Gita said “Madam I feel my relationship with my husband after having a kid is not #intense to that level what I had before having a kid. I feel that my husband feels neglected after arrival on Minni.”I said to Gita” That is the brutal truth of life, after marriage sometimes the husband feels #neglected.”

Gita further said” Madam after marriage and kid, I have ended up doing the lion’s share of the work. I am doing most of the parenting, most of the planning and #scheduling of family life. I am planning most of the housework, shopping, the cooking etc.”

I said, “Dear Gita I do realize you feel disrespected, unappreciated, let down, and therefore you always have resentful feelings.”

I further said” Gita please be bold and face it. You are working #mom and you have to do most of the work at home, as this is a tradition in Indian #families."

Gita had a very wise sister in- law Sita. She visited her brother- bhabhi's house with her mother Radha. Sita said,” Dear brother and bhabhi please do not try to make your #post-kid marriage dynamics equal to pre-kid marriage life #dynamics.”

She further said,” The trick is to create new marriage dynamics, which should be full of love, #appreciation, and respect, for each other, within the post-kid dynamics of life.”

Gita’s mother-in-law Radha said “Please realise son! Your child Minni is a tender soul, who requires a lot # of patience, and the non-stop hard work of living within a family system without a lot of help from outside.”

Gita’s mother-in-law further said “‘Please do realize there is nothing like having a little #blissful family of your own. Please do not mind if you have to put in a lot of hard work, and do not hesitate to be in constant communication with each other. Please do share your feelings, and try to make your #spouse happy. Finally, do not let your spouse upset. So keep it up. Enjoy life.The best is to learn how to mend your life as and when required. “

Gita is so thankful to her sister-in-law who gave wisdom, to her(Gita) and her husband about how to lead blissful family dynamics after having a kid.

Sukarma Thareja

I write to make Science easy through Poetry & Photos 📸📖
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🇮🇳 Hindi: Kishor Chetna
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🇺🇸 English 1: Making Science Easy - Photo Poetry
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🇺🇸 English 2: Science of Life and Nature - Photo Poetry
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