Crossings Boundaries in name of kindness

Other day I was talking to my old student Rajesh after attending  academic meeting at my school.

Rajesh said" Madam Setting limits on how much time you spend with someone, while still maintaining a positive and respectful connection is fundamental  equation of life work balance."

I had a student Bhajan. She was my next door neighbour. Bhajan had younger brother Raju.Unfortunately  Bhajan did not have father. Bhajan got #married in good family.

Bhajan's mother gave  her due share in form of #gifts and money in bank balance, what she really deserved.

Sometimes  Bhajan's mother used to cross her #boundaries of her giving capacity, also to #please Bhajan's  in laws.

Bhajan's mother used to say" madam, some how Bhajan's #expectations  are increasing. She is not realising , I have to keep enough money to myself so that I could take care of Raju's #education etc."

She further  said "Bhajan is taking undue advantage  of my #kindness. I can't cross my boundries  in name of my kindness. Madam I am sharing my feelings  with you.I hope you keep it to yourself."

I at once remembered  my friend Ramesh who said "one has to set limit to how much money and time one can spend with person x with whom one wishes to maintain good relationship."

I realized bhajan's mother is in fix about setting  limit to spending money and time at Bhajan in law's place.

Though Bhajan's mother was considerate for Bhajan's #feeling, but some how Bhajan was not able to #appreciate  the same. On the other hand Bhajan was thinking that her mother was lacking  #concern for her needs.

Bhajan was not able to understand that Striking a balance between kindness and #indifference is crucial in life.Her mother is trying to do same. Being nice or kind to daughter does not mean #sacrificing one's own needs or opinions.

Once I met Bhajan at family function I tried to explain same so that she could change her thinking about her mother.

• I said " dear Bhajan I understand may be sometimes your mother is declining your request that would significantly impact her workload. You understand your mother has to look after your younger brother also, therefore she some times sets her boindaries towards her finance and time. Please understand  her problems and her current commitments."
• I was happy my student Bhajan understood her mother's boundaries and maintained amicable relationship with her mother.
• 
  

Moral:Setting boundaries to x problem  in life can reduce stress and anxiety, improving overall mental health. 

To save time sometimes one has to say  no to social invitations. This saved time  can help one  recharge and prioritize one's own well-being

https://www.amazon.com/Making-Science-Easy-Poetry-Collection-ebook/dp/B09777MG33

Sukarma Thareja

Sukarma Thareja

I write to make Science easy through Poetry & Photos 📸📖

🌐 Website: https://sites.google.com/site/drsukarmaranithareja/home

📝 Blog: https://sukarmathareja.blogspot.com/?ncr=1

📚 My Books:

🇮🇳 Hindi: Kishor Chetna

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B077H5MBSW

🇺🇸 English 1: Making Science Easy - Photo Poetry

https://share.google/Iq6osO6YeHCYvfXYj

🇺🇸 English 2: Science of Life and Nature - Photo Poetry 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1521260060

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🙏 Thank you for reading!

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